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  string(10211) "A few weeks ago while I was travelling up to the Sunshine Coast on holiday I was browsing through the airport book shop trying to find a suitable book to read while I relaxed.

Being a terrible bore I always try to pick up a book that will help me professionally. I have to say choosing a book from the myriad of business related books available is proving to be a difficult task.

All of a sudden the person next to me struck up a conversation with me and asked what kind of book I was looking for. Now I am not sure if she noticed the confused look on my face or whether she was a publisher trying to push me towards a writer from her employer and to be honest, I will probably never know.

To cut a long story short we ended up chatting about books that aid with professional development and she recommended that I read some books by Becky Blalock, now I have to say that:

A) The bookshop didn't carry her book; and

B) When I looked it up on my iPad I was a little dubious as it seemed to be geared specifically for women in leadership. However as I had been given such a strong recommendation I thought that I would give it a shot anyway as surely the information would be unisex!

I am happy to report that I had plenty of time to read the book and while it is clearly designed for the WIL (Women in Leadership) market, I found that a lot of the advice and recommendations can be applied to everyone.

I have tried to give you a summary below of the main points I took away and how I think we can all develop professionally through increased confidence in the job market.

In today’s highly competitive job market it is crucial to give yourself the edge over your competition and like anything else in life a lot of it comes down to confidence and self-belief.

The question I put to you is: Are you confident?  Few people would answer “yes” to that question, but anyone can learn to be more confident and it’s a skill we can teach ourselves.

Becky Blalock begins by telling us all to forget the notion that confidence, leadership, and public speaking are abilities people are born with. In fact, research shows that being shy and cautious is the natural human state. “That’s how people in early times lived to pass on their genes, so it’s in our gene pool,” she says. “You had to be cautious to survive. But the things they needed to worry about then are not the things we need to worry about today.”

So how do you teach yourself to be more confident?  Well here is the advice that Blalock gives:

1. Put your thoughts in their place

The average human has 65,000 thoughts every day, Blalock says, and an extremely high percentage of these (up to 85% to 90%) of them are negative–things to worry about or fear. “They’re warnings to yourself,” Blalock says, and left over from our cave-dwelling past.

It makes sense–if we stick our hand in a flame our brain wants to make sure we don’t ever do that again. But this survival mechanism works against us because it causes us to focus on fears rather than hopes or dreams.

The point is to be aware that your brain works this way, and keep that negativity in proportion. “What you have to realise is your thoughts are just thoughts and they don’t necessarily represent objective reality.

2. Begin at the end

“There are so many people that I’ve asked, ‘What do you want to do? What do you want to be?’ and they would say, ‘I don’t know,’” Blalock says. “Knowing what you want is the key. Everything else you do should be leading you where you want to go.”

3. Start with gratitude

Begin the day by thinking about some of the things you have to be grateful for, Blalock advises. “Most of the 7 billion people in the world won’t have the opportunities you do,” she says. “If you start out with that perspective, you’ll be in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day.”

4. Take a daily step outside your comfort zone

There’s a funny thing about comfort zones. If we step outside them on a regular basis, they expand. If we stay within them, they shrink. Avoid getting trapped inside a shrinking comfort zone by pushing yourself to do things that are outside it. We’ve all had experiences where we’ve done something that terrified us, and then discovered it wasn’t so bad.

In Blalock’s case, she was visiting a military base and had gotten to the top of the parachute-training tower for a practice jump. “They had me all hooked up, and I said, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I have a small child at home,’” she recalls. “The guy took his foot and pushed me off the tower. When I got out there I realised it wasn’t that bad.”

We won’t always have someone standing by to kick us out of our comfort zones, so we have to do it for ourselves. “Just act!” Blalock says.

5. Remember: Dogs don’t chase parked cars

If you’re running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there’s probably a good reason–you’re going somewhere. That doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should put those negatives in perspective.

If you don’t make changes, and challenge the status quo, no one will ever object to anything you do.

6. Get ready to bounce back

“It’s not failure that destroys our confidence, it’s not getting back up,” Blalock says. “Once we get back up, we’ve learned what doesn’t work and we can give it another try.” Blalock points out that the baseball players with the biggest home run records also have the biggest strikeout records.

Taking more swings gets you where you want to go.

7. Find a mentor

Whatever you’ve set out to do, there are likely others who’ve done it first and can offer you useful advice or at least serve as role models. Find those people and learn as much from them as you can.

8. Choose your companions wisely

“Your outlook–negative or positive–will be the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” Blalock says. “So be careful who you hang out with. Make sure you’re hanging out with people who encourage you and lift you up.”

When she quit her C-suite job to write books, she adds, some people were aghast and predicted that no one would read them while others were quite encouraging.

It didn’t take her long to figure out that the encouraging friends were the ones she should gravitate toward.

9. Do your homework

In almost any situation, preparation can help boost your confidence. Have to give a speech? Practice it several times, record yourself, and listen.

Meeting people for the first time? Check them and their organisations out on the internet, and check their social media profiles as well. “If you’re prepared you will be more confident,” Blalock says. “The Internet makes it so easy.”

10. Get plenty of rest and exercise

There’s ample evidence by now that getting enough sleep, exercise, and good nutrition profoundly affects both your mood and your effectiveness. “Just moderate exercise three times a week for 20 minutes does so much for the hippocampus and is more effective than anything else for warding off Alzheimer’s and depression,” Blalock says. “Yet it always falls of the list when we’re prioritising.

While there are many things we can delegate, exercise isn’t one of them. If there were a way to do that, I would have figured it out by now.”

11. Breathe!

“This one is so simple,” Blalock says. “If you breathe heavily, it saturates your brain with oxygen and makes you more awake and aware.

It’s very important in a tense situation because it will make you realise that you control your body, and not your unconscious mind. If you’re not practicing breathing, you should be.”

12. Be willing to fake it

No, you shouldn’t pretend to have qualifications or experience that you don’t. But if you have most of the skills you need and can likely figure out the rest, don’t hang back.

One company did a study to discover why fewer of its female employees were getting promotions than men. It turned out not to be so much a matter of bias as of confidence: If a man had about half the qualifications for a posted job he’d be likely to apply for it, while a woman would be more likely to wait till she had most or all of them.

Don’t hold yourself back by assuming you need to have vast experience for a job or a piece of business before you go after it.

13. Don’t forget to ask for help

“Don’t assume people know what you want,” Blalock says. “You have to figure out what that is, and then educate them.”

Once people know what you want, and that you want their help, you may be surprised at how forthcoming they are. “People are really flattered when you ask for advice and support,” she says. “If someone says no you can always ask someone else. But in my experience, they rarely say no.”

So you can see that all of these things can be directly related to your job / career and can help you get on track to achieve your dream job.

 

Cox Purtell Recruitment Agency Blog / Sydney / Melbourne / Adelaide"
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A few weeks ago while I was travelling up to the Sunshine Coast on holiday I was browsing through the airport book shop trying to find a suitable book to read while I relaxed.

Being a terrible bore I always try to pick up a book that will help me professionally. I have to say choosing a book from the myriad of business related books available is proving to be a difficult task.

All of a sudden the person next to me struck up a conversation with me and asked what kind of book I was looking for. Now I am not sure if she noticed the confused look on my face or whether she was a publisher trying to push me towards a writer from her employer and to be honest, I will probably never know.

To cut a long story short we ended up chatting about books that aid with professional development and she recommended that I read some books by Becky Blalock, now I have to say that:

A) The bookshop didn’t carry her book; and

B) When I looked it up on my iPad I was a little dubious as it seemed to be geared specifically for women in leadership. However as I had been given such a strong recommendation I thought that I would give it a shot anyway as surely the information would be unisex!

I am happy to report that I had plenty of time to read the book and while it is clearly designed for the WIL (Women in Leadership) market, I found that a lot of the advice and recommendations can be applied to everyone.

I have tried to give you a summary below of the main points I took away and how I think we can all develop professionally through increased confidence in the job market.

In today’s highly competitive job market it is crucial to give yourself the edge over your competition and like anything else in life a lot of it comes down to confidence and self-belief.

The question I put to you is: Are you confident?  Few people would answer “yes” to that question, but anyone can learn to be more confident and it’s a skill we can teach ourselves.

Becky Blalock begins by telling us all to forget the notion that confidence, leadership, and public speaking are abilities people are born with. In fact, research shows that being shy and cautious is the natural human state. “That’s how people in early times lived to pass on their genes, so it’s in our gene pool,” she says. “You had to be cautious to survive. But the things they needed to worry about then are not the things we need to worry about today.”

So how do you teach yourself to be more confident?  Well here is the advice that Blalock gives:

1. Put your thoughts in their place

The average human has 65,000 thoughts every day, Blalock says, and an extremely high percentage of these (up to 85% to 90%) of them are negative–things to worry about or fear. “They’re warnings to yourself,” Blalock says, and left over from our cave-dwelling past.

It makes sense–if we stick our hand in a flame our brain wants to make sure we don’t ever do that again. But this survival mechanism works against us because it causes us to focus on fears rather than hopes or dreams.

The point is to be aware that your brain works this way, and keep that negativity in proportion. “What you have to realise is your thoughts are just thoughts and they don’t necessarily represent objective reality.

2. Begin at the end

“There are so many people that I’ve asked, ‘What do you want to do? What do you want to be?’ and they would say, ‘I don’t know,’” Blalock says. “Knowing what you want is the key. Everything else you do should be leading you where you want to go.”

3. Start with gratitude

Begin the day by thinking about some of the things you have to be grateful for, Blalock advises. “Most of the 7 billion people in the world won’t have the opportunities you do,” she says. “If you start out with that perspective, you’ll be in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day.”

4. Take a daily step outside your comfort zone

There’s a funny thing about comfort zones. If we step outside them on a regular basis, they expand. If we stay within them, they shrink. Avoid getting trapped inside a shrinking comfort zone by pushing yourself to do things that are outside it. We’ve all had experiences where we’ve done something that terrified us, and then discovered it wasn’t so bad.

In Blalock’s case, she was visiting a military base and had gotten to the top of the parachute-training tower for a practice jump. “They had me all hooked up, and I said, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I have a small child at home,’” she recalls. “The guy took his foot and pushed me off the tower. When I got out there I realised it wasn’t that bad.”

We won’t always have someone standing by to kick us out of our comfort zones, so we have to do it for ourselves. “Just act!” Blalock says.

5. Remember: Dogs don’t chase parked cars

If you’re running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there’s probably a good reason–you’re going somewhere. That doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should put those negatives in perspective.

If you don’t make changes, and challenge the status quo, no one will ever object to anything you do.

6. Get ready to bounce back

“It’s not failure that destroys our confidence, it’s not getting back up,” Blalock says. “Once we get back up, we’ve learned what doesn’t work and we can give it another try.” Blalock points out that the baseball players with the biggest home run records also have the biggest strikeout records.

Taking more swings gets you where you want to go.

7. Find a mentor

Whatever you’ve set out to do, there are likely others who’ve done it first and can offer you useful advice or at least serve as role models. Find those people and learn as much from them as you can.

8. Choose your companions wisely

“Your outlook–negative or positive–will be the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” Blalock says. “So be careful who you hang out with. Make sure you’re hanging out with people who encourage you and lift you up.”

When she quit her C-suite job to write books, she adds, some people were aghast and predicted that no one would read them while others were quite encouraging.

It didn’t take her long to figure out that the encouraging friends were the ones she should gravitate toward.

9. Do your homework

In almost any situation, preparation can help boost your confidence. Have to give a speech? Practice it several times, record yourself, and listen.

Meeting people for the first time? Check them and their organisations out on the internet, and check their social media profiles as well. “If you’re prepared you will be more confident,” Blalock says. “The Internet makes it so easy.”

10. Get plenty of rest and exercise

There’s ample evidence by now that getting enough sleep, exercise, and good nutrition profoundly affects both your mood and your effectiveness. “Just moderate exercise three times a week for 20 minutes does so much for the hippocampus and is more effective than anything else for warding off Alzheimer’s and depression,” Blalock says. “Yet it always falls of the list when we’re prioritising.

While there are many things we can delegate, exercise isn’t one of them. If there were a way to do that, I would have figured it out by now.”

11. Breathe!

“This one is so simple,” Blalock says. “If you breathe heavily, it saturates your brain with oxygen and makes you more awake and aware.

It’s very important in a tense situation because it will make you realise that you control your body, and not your unconscious mind. If you’re not practicing breathing, you should be.”

12. Be willing to fake it

No, you shouldn’t pretend to have qualifications or experience that you don’t. But if you have most of the skills you need and can likely figure out the rest, don’t hang back.

One company did a study to discover why fewer of its female employees were getting promotions than men. It turned out not to be so much a matter of bias as of confidence: If a man had about half the qualifications for a posted job he’d be likely to apply for it, while a woman would be more likely to wait till she had most or all of them.

Don’t hold yourself back by assuming you need to have vast experience for a job or a piece of business before you go after it.

13. Don’t forget to ask for help

“Don’t assume people know what you want,” Blalock says. “You have to figure out what that is, and then educate them.”

Once people know what you want, and that you want their help, you may be surprised at how forthcoming they are. “People are really flattered when you ask for advice and support,” she says. “If someone says no you can always ask someone else. But in my experience, they rarely say no.”

So you can see that all of these things can be directly related to your job / career and can help you get on track to achieve your dream job.

 

Cox Purtell Recruitment Agency Blog / Sydney / Melbourne / Adelaide

Tags: Career | Confidence | Cox Purtell Blog | Job | Job Market | Recruiter | Recruitment | Recruitment Adelaide | Recruitment Melbourne | Recruitment Specialist | Recruitment Sydney | Success |

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